Aftershock
by Rasial
Summary: Rushton returns to Obernewtyn and to Elspeth after being tortured in Ariel's compound, but his experiences have left him bitter, abusive and cruel. Deeply ashamed of her inability to save Rushton and their relationship, she avoids Master Empath Dameon lest he uncover her secret. But Dameon has a secret of his own. Oneshot.


Ceirwan faresent me to let me know that two riders had been spotted approaching Obernewtyn. I shunted him brusquely from my mind after the equivalent of a curt mental nod, and donned my green fringed shawl as the circular entrance hall would no doubt be chilly in the early evening. I heard the echo of his pity and concern for me, and my mouth twisted in an ugly gesture. It was well known that Rushton had been cold and distant to me since his return, although he had been warm and even congenial with others. But they thought, as I had at first, that Rushton would heal over time as he came to terms with what Ariel had done to him. They did not know that the real problem was me. Whenever he and I were alone, he became aggressive and cruel. Twice in his rage he had thrown trinkets from my boudoir against the wall, and taunted me to use my Talent to stop him.

Several nights ago, Rushton he had sought me out in my chamber. His green eyes glimmered with cold malice as he told me he could no longer love me. He had called me "Too cold and barren" and "no real woman" and then had broken off tearfully to ask in a cracked voice why I had not loved him enough to save him. Choking on anguish, I could not stammer a response, and my passivity only enraged him. "Are you too powerful to feel, Guildmistress?" he snarled, and for a moment Ariel's smile seemed to play on his lips, as he backhanded me across the face.

I reeled back against the wall in shock as he strode out.

Now I moved in clipped steps down the staircase, hoping to avoid colliding with any empaths along the way. I knew I needed to find someone else to help Rushton, perhaps Roland or Maryon, as I was clearly not able to reach him, but it was still too painful and humiliating for me to speak of.

Worst was the knowledge that his condition was indeed my fault. Keeping myself and my quest back from Rushton had allowed Ariel a way in to distort his mind. He was right. I _was_ cold and barren. And even with all my supposed Talents , I had somehow failed to save him the way any Landfolk woman could have reached out to save their bondmate. I lacked _tenderness_. My eyes blurred with tears and I had to reach out for the handrail to guide me down the stairs.

I crossed the hall as Ceirwan announced that the riders were likely Teknoguilders, Fian and possibly another novice. I stood sedately beside Ceirwan, forcibly making my countenance passive as the massive door swung open to allow the riders to enter and remove their hoods.

_The second rider was Dameon_.

With his uncanny ability to read my emotions even more clearly than I could myself, he was the last person I wanted to see. I recoiled as he came forward to embrace me, knowing that his touch would enhance his Talent. He stopped mid-way, with a curious expression on his face. I bowed my head to them both.

"Welcome Fian, Dameon. No doubt you'll be hungry, Ceirwan will find you some supper in the kitchens." Fian raised an eyebrow at my cool tone, but I knew I had to do whatever I could to put distance between myself and Dameon. Ceirwan and Fian began head to the kitchens as I strode back across the hall.

As I approached the stairwell I heard Dameon say faintly behind me "Elspeth?"  
"I have some guild business to attend to, but I will catch up with you in the kitchens later." I lied. No doubt Dameon could sense the falsehood, and he stiffened, his blank eyes questing after me. After a long moment, he turned and began to slowly cross the hall.

That night I did not move from my hearthside for fear that I would be forced to speak to either Dameon or Rushton. I reached up and touched my face gingerly where Rushton had hit me. Thanks to the healing gift the Agyllians had given me, there was no visible bruising, but the area around my cheekbone still felt tender. I churned with grief and guilt and self-loathing, and found myself unable to eat anything from the tray which Ceir had no doubt had Aras leave for me. I sank into a deep sleep where I dreamed over and over of Rushton's face taunting me with Ariel's silky voice.

The next morning I got up early, my belly growling audibly. I would grab a spicy bun for breakfast and go eat it on the Farms. These days, the only place I felt safe was among the beasts, whose gentleness and general lack of interest in funaga relationships meant they did not pity or judge me.  
As I was slipping out of the kitchen, basket of filtched supplies in my hand, I heard a high-pitched giggle.

Freya was seated at the end of one of the long benches in the kitchen hall, and Rushton was standing over her, leaning against the wall casually. From the blush in her cheeks I could see he was flattering her. I cast an envious gaze over her petite, coquettish form. Here was a creature with pretty dimples and curves, whose sweet nature and even her Talent reached out to nourish all she met. I did not doubt that this was who Rushton meant when he spoke of a real woman. I burned with jealousy as he leaned forward to whisper something to her, and I was alarmed to see him look unerringly over at me and broaden his lips into a wicked smile, before flicking his gaze back to Freya, offering her his arm, and striding outdoors with her.

I had to grip the wall to steady myself, and decided simply to take the corridor back to the Farseeker's wing since Rushton and Freya were likely heading to the farms themselves.

_Perhaps this is what he needs._ A nasty little voice inside me said. _Maybe she will be the one to save him where you could not._ When I got back to the room I set down my basket and flung myself onto the bed, to weep hot, pointless tears.

For the next few days I managed to skulk in my rooms, attending to the needs of my guild and inventing reasons to stay busy. I was poring over a book the teknoguilders had leant me about Beforetime computermachines when there was a gentle knock at the door.

An unannounced visit could only mean Dameon.

I debated cowardly options such as pretending to be asleep or absent, but to my surprise Dameon came in uninvited.

"I know you are here – I can feel you." He said simply, sorrowfully. "May I talk to you Elspeth?"  
"I wish you wouldn't" I whispered, desperately trying to slam my emotional shield into place. He swallowed, but continued to move forward into the light. I noticed dark circles under his eyes and saw he was quivering.

"Are you unwell?" I asked impulsively.  
Dameon gave a dry laugh. "I have not slept well since I returned." He took a deep breath. "I need to speak to you about…why you have been avoiding me." He was now only a pace away from me and I cringed back from him. "Please Dameon" I stammered "Don't make me talk about it yet; I can't bear to think of it!"

He seemed to take my words as a physical blow. "I knew how you felt, Elspeth" Dameon's voice trembled "but I did not think I would revolt you so." Determinedly, he reached out a hand to take mine, as I blinked at it in confusion. "Revolt me?" I half sobbed "Whatever do you mean?" But Dameon's expression had changed to one of bewilderment. He seemed to stare at me for a second and then pulled me quickly into his arms and I rested my head there, weeping on his shoulder the shame and grief I felt. He stroked my hair and rested his chin gently on the crown of my head until I had tired myself out.

He sat me down on the bed, dried my eyes and clasped my hands. "Now, my dear, I think you ought to tell me what all this is about."

"But don't you know? I was sure you would guess it all when I saw you, unprepared, in the entrance hall." I quickly outlined to him the difficulties I had been having with Rushton, leaving out the more colourful aspects of his rages and his attempt to make me feel jealous with Freya. I was swamped with an ugly mist of my own self-loathing and humiliation as Dameon wrapped him arms firmly around me and kissed me on the forehead.

"Elspeth, you have done nothing to bring this on yourself. You are a beautiful, passionate woman and every man who is graced with your company, even for a moment, knows how rare and special you are. Besides that, no woman deserves this from a man, no matter the circumstance."

Unbidden the image of Rushton smiling at me before he hit me came into my mind, and Dameon reached up and touched my bruised cheekbone.  
"He hit you?" Dameon asked tersely.  
I hung my head in shame "Please don't tell anyone. I cannot bear that even you know."

He stood up grimly. "Rest now." He said to me and then stalked out the door without another word. He moved much quicker than I gave the blind Empath credit for, and after a few moments of deliberation, I decided to follow him, in case he was on his way to confront Rushton. I had not liked his stony expression when he left.

When I approached Rushton's chamber I could already hear him shouting. There was a smacking noise and the sound stopped abruptly. I peered through the door to see Rushton rubbing his jaw with an amused expression and Dameon with his fist clenched by his side. Anger radiated from him like a stoked fire, and seemed to make the room too hot to enter.

"Do not ever touch Elspeth in anger again." Dameon said, very coldly through gritted teeth.  
Rushton leaned back on his desk with his legs crossed, looking as though he were trying to hold back laughter. "How very touching – a blind knight in armour." He drawled with a bloody lip.  
The heat in the room seemed to double, and I wondered how Rushton could stand it. As though my curiosity roused his attention, Rushton turned to me in the doorway.

"Ahh, Elspeth, have you come to use your deadly powers to make sure I don't make a mess of our dear Guildmaster's face? Or is it more than that, and you come to protect your lover, even as your lover comes to protect you?" I looked from Rushton to Dameon, whose rage had subsided a little since he had noticed me at the doorway. He stood solemnly, but did not step back out of Rushton's striking range.

I faltered at the door. Rushton gave me a measuring look, and it seemed more and more that Ariel was not just haunting Rushton, but that he had possessed his body as in the legends of the Beforetime demons. "Ahh, I see. You still don't know that our mutual friend here has been pining for you so badly he needed a holiday in the desert to recover?"

Shock bowled me over like a wave and I leaned against the doorway for support.

Dimly, I heard Dameon say bitterly "Yes, you won Elspeth's love. And for what? To treat her like this?" All of a sudden, Rushton seemed to grow bored of whatever game he was playing. "Well, you have her then." He said, sitting down at his desk and picking up some papers he had been reading. "I don't want her anymore."

Dameon shot him one last disgusted look and came to place an arm around my waist and help me back to my room. At first I felt awkward at his touch, given what Rushton had just said, and what it suddenly seemed I should always have known to be true. But we managed to get back to my room before we spoke of what had happened.

"What Rushton said…" I began, but Dameon stopped me, his expression raw.  
"Yes. I have loved you, almost from the first moment I met you." He said softly. "You thought I was staring at you strangely that day, remember?"

I couldn't decide whether he expected me to answer. He continued "I thought you had somehow discovered my secret and that's why you were avoiding me."

I thought of how he had quivered when he had come to take my hand in my chamber earlier, and it occurred to me how brave he had been to seek me out, given that he thought me repulsed by the knowledge that he loved me. I blinked, surprised to find that I was in fact pleased, a selfish thought since loving me had caused my friend so much pain.

I ventured a question: "I could feel your anger so strongly in Rushton's chamber, indeed it frightened me. If that is how it is with your strongest feelings, why have I never felt your love?"

Dameon smiled. "Why Elspeth, you have felt it, every time I see you."  
I paused. "But that has never seemed like…amorous love. You are always so gentle."  
He shifted away from me slightly as he spoke. "I keep an emotional shield up between us at all times, or else this would have been quite clear to you long before now." Suddenly I was breathless, swept away by a tide of longing that brought white hot tears to my eyes.

And then it was gone.

I gasped. "This is what you bear to be near me every day?"  
He gave me a wan smile in answer.  
I cursed myself. "And I throw myself into your arms at every conceivable wrong… " I looked at the Empath guildmaster full of regret. "I am so sorry."

"Elspeth, don't be. It is a privilege to love you." Dameon said softly.

I edged closer to him, and felt the tension in his breath. I brushed the hair from his eyes and held his face for a moment, staring into his milk-white eyes.

"My dear, think of all you have been through today. I do not think this is wise…" Dameon started, but I moved my hand down to his lips to stop him from speaking. I could see him physically straining to rein himself in, but when I kissed him, tasting his sweet breath, it was as though I had freed a greatcat that clawed to draw me closer to him.

I felt his Talent thrumming through me. The sensation of longing had been replaced by joy.


End file.
